Life as we know it

I’m so frustrated right now

I’m in a pickle

Due to a recent accident I caused, I now have to pay for the damage on someone else’s car.. basically my paychecks for the next 3 months are going towards that which is completely fair because I rearended them and it was my fault. The dilemma I’m having is that work is now taking up all of my weekends, so I’m not able to go to youthgroup or hangout with people anymore (especially my youthgroup friends) which is kind of taking its toll on me. Especially in the upcoming months I’m going to have to work as much as I can so I probably won’t even be able to go to my church retreat or my youthgroup retreat and I’m EXTREMELY upset about that. The only reason I have to work as much as possible right now though is because I have to try to pay off the car before Mount Hermon otherwise I have to use the Mount Hermon money towards the car meaning that I can’t go to camp.. and this is my last year.. and this situation sucks but it’s my fault so I really can’t complain.. adsfgdfsfd. It’s just frustrating.. I don’t know if it’s worth it to not go to youthgroup or see my friends anymore but then still maybe be able to go to Mount Hermon.
I ask myself what I should do, but I think I already know the answer.. it’s just not the answer I want.

Goodbye Mount Hermon..

Progeria

I’m watching this news story with my parents about progeria and I’m going to be honest, I was a little bit frightened by what the little kids with the disease look like. I know that that’s terrible, but it’s honest. As we kept watching though, I fell in love with the little girl because she had the best personality any little girl could have, especially a little girl in the condition she’s in. I guess I posted about this, because it reminded me that you really can’t judge by looks and it really is all about what’s on the inside. I know it’s cliche, but I’m glad God reminded me this (:

Wow, things are looking up

After 3 consecutive games where I played.. terribly terrible, I finally had a good game (:

Finally got a job interview this thursday (:

Got an A on my history test (:

Not doing too hot in math though.. but still, ive got a lot to be thankful for.

God is good, all the time
              and
All the time, God is good

Things are definitely not the way they used to be and I know people say “change is good” or something like that, but I feel like that’s not true in my case.. I don’t like change.
I miss the way everything used to be

I tried so hard but I played so bad!
..it’s frustrating ):

Stepping out in Faith

I’ve notices that the more I put myself in unsure situations, the more God works in me and through me.

Again, I was faced with an uncomfortable situation.This girl on ASB invited the ASB class to an event that her youth group was doing. No one in the class responded to the e-mail, so I was very hesitant to ask her about it because I’m not THAT good of friends with her and I thought it might be a little awkward if I went. But it sounded like a great opportunity to serve God and the community, so I decided to ask her about it anyways. I got all the information and even got the permission slip, but I told her that I still wasn’t positive I could go. (That way, I could back out if I wanted to). I asked one of my friends if she was going and she said she was, so that’s what sold it for me and I decided to go even though I was pretty nervous and I actually had no idea what we were really going to be doing. We ended up going to a Juvenile detention center in Seattle and we made the kids there valentines day cards and decorated cookies for them. I had a really fun time (: And I knew that these kids that were getting the cards and cookies had probably never received anything like this before, which made me feel even better about it!

Really there were 2 main things God showed me through this:

1. I’m used to being surrounded by asians when I’m worshiping God and that’s not meant to be racist at all, it’s just a true statement due to the religious community i’ve been raised in. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love all the people God has brought into my life and I love my church and the relationships I have with people that are built around God, but they all tend to be asian which isn’t a bad thing at all but I think that it’s kind of limited my view on the whole idea of Christianity. I know this is really bad, but when I see white people worshiping God, it just seems weird to me. It seems off, I guess. But going to this event with a group of mainly white people, it really helped me see/reminded me that ALL people can genuinely worship God, because he’s worthy of all praise. I was able to feel the presence of God and the love of God even though I wasn’t in the environment that I’m used to being in when I’m with the “body of christ” and that really gave me hope that my relationship with God won’t die when I’m not able to go to my youth group anymore or when I have to go to college. God’s everywhere, I just have to awknowledge him in all places of my life. 

2. There’s poverty everywhere. Which is most definitely a bad thing, but God really really reminded me of that tonight. At the detention center, we were told that most of the kids committed these crimes because they needed money or food to feed their families. Poverty drove them to do these bad things, and I’m not saying that poverty makes their actions just, but it definitely opens my eyes to see the bigger picture. Yah, there’s poverty in Kenya and yes they absolutely need help, but my community needs help as well. I believe that my community is the place to start, God’s really been tugging at my heart to help people in poverty, or those helpless and hopeless people, but I always thought that i had to go to Kenya in order to fulfill my calling, in order to find poverty. Even though in reality, poverty is right outside my doorstep, I just blinded myself from seeing it. I can start with working in my community and then go wherever God calls me. This also takes a ton of stress off my back because I was so scared to make a definite decision, hoping I was choosing the right thing and then just pack up and go to Kenya and see if I was actually called there or not. But now I can still do what I feel called to do, just not so far away from home. Not yet at least..

Wow, this post ended up being quite long.. I just got lots to say, lots going through my mind right now. That’s a good thing though (:

God is Good, All the Time
              and
All the Time, God is Good